Passion and Joy through the eyes of a child

First I'll start off this blog being grateful so that I can conciously remind myself to appreciate the wonderful things I have in my life.
- I am grateful for my health and being alive.
- I am grateful for having observed and am proud of my almost 3 year old daughter who was being pulled by the hood of her jacket today, by another little girl and instead of reacting physcially (by pushing her away) she stood firmly, looked at the girl in the face, raised her hand up to indicate "STOP" and stated firmly and assertively, PLEASE STOP!  The girl then let go immediately.  It was such a proud moment because it showed a lot about her decision making ability.  She controlled a natural reaction of pushing the child away and chose instead to use strength in her body language, words and tone to achieve the same solution. 
- I am grateful for the wonderful weekend I had with my family and friends.
- I am grateful for my husband and how he enjoys helping me through challenging times.

I have been on the search for my passion for a few years now and haven't really been able to find IT.  I have not tried to put concious focus on it hoping that it would come naturally. Unfortunately, I have kept myself so busy which clouded my mind resulting in not having the clarity it needed to find this passion within me.  I do however observe moments of passion experienced by others.


- When I look outside across the street, in the spring, summer and fall months, I see several children outside everyday, after school to playing street hockey.  Sometimes one plays alone, just to practice because he loves it so much.
- My husband, a physician and surgeon, has a passion for skiing and would do it on a daily basis if he could.  In fact, this weekend he told me that if someone told him he had to run a ski hill he would love it!
- I have friends who love art and spend everyday painting, reading about art, looking at art, studying art, whatever it is that is art related they will do.

The common theme in the above examples is loving something so much, having so much passion for something that you would put everything aside and WANT to do it everyday.  Several months ago I asked myself the question, "if I could do something everyday, what would it be?"  My mind was a blank! Wow, what a revelation! I don't LOVE to do one THING everyday.  I like doing things but I couldn't say I wish I could THIS everyday.  I felt empty.  How is it that other people have this joy, this love, this passion to fulfill this inner need and I don't?  How do you find IT? Maybe I don't have IT?  Impossible, I thought.  I know I have IT but i've lost it along the way. 

I had to remove all the events, circumstances and experiences that made me this responsible, risk mitigating, less exciting, accountable adult and go back to when I was a child.  This was a very challenging thing to do because I had been this person for so long, now 44 years old.  It was quite tough to remember what it was like to be that "carefree" little girl. 

As a young child, I remember loving nature, animals and observing people (people watching).  I remember watching Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom with my parents and being completely caught up in the adventure I was watching.  This is where my journey begins.  I must peel off layers, open my mind's doors, windows and break the walls leading to my soul and become, on the outside who I am completely on the inside.