Some years back, I befriended an interesting colleague at my place of work. In one of our lunchtime conversations, she told me how to get exactly what I wanted in life. I had recently broken up with a boyfriend who was not good for me, and was looking for "Mr. Right". I definitely did not want to make the same mistakes I had made before when it came to choosing my partner. I wanted this time to be different, so I was fascinated with what she had to say.
My friend told me that I needed to program myself to find "him". But how? She told me to write down specifically what I was wanting in a partner. She said to put the list beside my bed and read it before going to sleep each night, and again each morning as I awoke. She said to do this until I found who I was wanting. This idea was entirely new to me, but it sounded logical. It wasn't like she was telling me to do 25 jumping jacks in my underclothes, or stand on my head outside my apartment yelling at each passerby.
I decided to do what she said that very night. Writing the list forced me to really think about who I wanted to be with, what specific characteristics I wanted. It was so much fun. It was like buying a new car or house. We put so much thought into what we want when we buy cars or houses, yet when it comes to finding a life partner, we seem to leave it all to chance with little to no thought ahead of time as to what we want and whether he or she would be good for us, or we for them.
I made my list. I wrote down things like good sense of humor, tall (because I'm tall), dark haired, pleasing to the eye (I didn't want to get too greedy), good with money, understanding of my health (as I had some serious health problems), wanting children, kind, considerate, good with his family and a few other items that were important to me. It was like I was placing an order.
My list really cemented in my mind, and clarified what characteristics were important to me, plus I had this huge expectation that I was going to find him. I was so invigorated! Each time I met a cute, tall, dark haired man, I wondered to myself if he was the one. Within a matter of days, I met a cute, short, medium brown haired guy who asked me out on a date. As you can see, he wasn't quite what I had "ordered", but I was willing to bend the rules and give him a try. He was sweet and kind and truly there was nothing to complain about with him, yet he was not the man I had "programmed" myself to meet. He wasn't the one and I knew it.
What happened to the cute, short, medium brown haired guy? Did I stay with him despite the fact that he wasn't whom I'd ordered? Did things work out after all? Stay tuned. The answer to this, and how I've continued to use programmation to get what I want in life, will be in my next blog!
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Passion and Joy through the eyes of a child
First I'll start off this blog being grateful so that I can conciously remind myself to appreciate the wonderful things I have in my life.
- I am grateful for my health and being alive.
- I am grateful for having observed and am proud of my almost 3 year old daughter who was being pulled by the hood of her jacket today, by another little girl and instead of reacting physcially (by pushing her away) she stood firmly, looked at the girl in the face, raised her hand up to indicate "STOP" and stated firmly and assertively, PLEASE STOP! The girl then let go immediately. It was such a proud moment because it showed a lot about her decision making ability. She controlled a natural reaction of pushing the child away and chose instead to use strength in her body language, words and tone to achieve the same solution.
- I am grateful for the wonderful weekend I had with my family and friends.
- I am grateful for my husband and how he enjoys helping me through challenging times.
I have been on the search for my passion for a few years now and haven't really been able to find IT. I have not tried to put concious focus on it hoping that it would come naturally. Unfortunately, I have kept myself so busy which clouded my mind resulting in not having the clarity it needed to find this passion within me. I do however observe moments of passion experienced by others.
- When I look outside across the street, in the spring, summer and fall months, I see several children outside everyday, after school to playing street hockey. Sometimes one plays alone, just to practice because he loves it so much.
- My husband, a physician and surgeon, has a passion for skiing and would do it on a daily basis if he could. In fact, this weekend he told me that if someone told him he had to run a ski hill he would love it!
- I have friends who love art and spend everyday painting, reading about art, looking at art, studying art, whatever it is that is art related they will do.
The common theme in the above examples is loving something so much, having so much passion for something that you would put everything aside and WANT to do it everyday. Several months ago I asked myself the question, "if I could do something everyday, what would it be?" My mind was a blank! Wow, what a revelation! I don't LOVE to do one THING everyday. I like doing things but I couldn't say I wish I could THIS everyday. I felt empty. How is it that other people have this joy, this love, this passion to fulfill this inner need and I don't? How do you find IT? Maybe I don't have IT? Impossible, I thought. I know I have IT but i've lost it along the way.
I had to remove all the events, circumstances and experiences that made me this responsible, risk mitigating, less exciting, accountable adult and go back to when I was a child. This was a very challenging thing to do because I had been this person for so long, now 44 years old. It was quite tough to remember what it was like to be that "carefree" little girl.
As a young child, I remember loving nature, animals and observing people (people watching). I remember watching Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom with my parents and being completely caught up in the adventure I was watching. This is where my journey begins. I must peel off layers, open my mind's doors, windows and break the walls leading to my soul and become, on the outside who I am completely on the inside.
- I am grateful for my health and being alive.
- I am grateful for having observed and am proud of my almost 3 year old daughter who was being pulled by the hood of her jacket today, by another little girl and instead of reacting physcially (by pushing her away) she stood firmly, looked at the girl in the face, raised her hand up to indicate "STOP" and stated firmly and assertively, PLEASE STOP! The girl then let go immediately. It was such a proud moment because it showed a lot about her decision making ability. She controlled a natural reaction of pushing the child away and chose instead to use strength in her body language, words and tone to achieve the same solution.
- I am grateful for the wonderful weekend I had with my family and friends.
- I am grateful for my husband and how he enjoys helping me through challenging times.
I have been on the search for my passion for a few years now and haven't really been able to find IT. I have not tried to put concious focus on it hoping that it would come naturally. Unfortunately, I have kept myself so busy which clouded my mind resulting in not having the clarity it needed to find this passion within me. I do however observe moments of passion experienced by others.
- When I look outside across the street, in the spring, summer and fall months, I see several children outside everyday, after school to playing street hockey. Sometimes one plays alone, just to practice because he loves it so much.
- My husband, a physician and surgeon, has a passion for skiing and would do it on a daily basis if he could. In fact, this weekend he told me that if someone told him he had to run a ski hill he would love it!
- I have friends who love art and spend everyday painting, reading about art, looking at art, studying art, whatever it is that is art related they will do.
The common theme in the above examples is loving something so much, having so much passion for something that you would put everything aside and WANT to do it everyday. Several months ago I asked myself the question, "if I could do something everyday, what would it be?" My mind was a blank! Wow, what a revelation! I don't LOVE to do one THING everyday. I like doing things but I couldn't say I wish I could THIS everyday. I felt empty. How is it that other people have this joy, this love, this passion to fulfill this inner need and I don't? How do you find IT? Maybe I don't have IT? Impossible, I thought. I know I have IT but i've lost it along the way.
I had to remove all the events, circumstances and experiences that made me this responsible, risk mitigating, less exciting, accountable adult and go back to when I was a child. This was a very challenging thing to do because I had been this person for so long, now 44 years old. It was quite tough to remember what it was like to be that "carefree" little girl.
As a young child, I remember loving nature, animals and observing people (people watching). I remember watching Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom with my parents and being completely caught up in the adventure I was watching. This is where my journey begins. I must peel off layers, open my mind's doors, windows and break the walls leading to my soul and become, on the outside who I am completely on the inside.
Friday, April 19, 2013
Attracting What You Want
I can't stop thinking about that incident that happened to you some years ago, Kathy. I know that you'd be much better able to retell it than me, but it was such a great story, I just have to have a go at it because it's such an important lesson and universal law.
What happened involved the concept of wanting something so much, putting the idea of getting it "out there", and then receiving it from another, without saying a word. You may have had something similar happen to you or happen to someone you know, and when it does, it fills you with such a rush of amazement and excitement because you realize how powerful thoughts and intentions can be.
Kathy had told me that as a young girl of about eight years old she had seen these black patent shoes in a store and fell in love with them. She couldn't afford them and told no one of her desire for them, including her parents. They were not the kind of shoes her parents normally would have bought for her. This didn't stop her, however, from wanting them, thinking about them constantly, and visualizing herself with these shoes. She did this for many weeks. You can imagine her enormous surprise when one day soon thereafter, her mother presented her with a pair of shoes for a gift - and not just any shoes - the very same pair that she had been longing for and visualizing!
It's the kind of story that gives you chills. It seems incredible. Too good to be true, yet the reality is that focusing on a specific thing is in fact giving energy to the specific thing, and the object begins to find its way to you. This idea known as the law of attraction, or perhaps more recently labelled "the secret" was made infamous by Oprah Winfrey. You may have in fact, been practicing it accidentally for years as perhaps was the case with Kathy.
I too stumbled across this law a few years before "the secret" was made famous the world over. I was excited to put it into practice, after all, I felt I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. There was a special method suggested to me by a friend that seemed almost too simple to work. I can't wait to tell you about how using it brought me the two greatest loves of my life.
What happened involved the concept of wanting something so much, putting the idea of getting it "out there", and then receiving it from another, without saying a word. You may have had something similar happen to you or happen to someone you know, and when it does, it fills you with such a rush of amazement and excitement because you realize how powerful thoughts and intentions can be.
Kathy had told me that as a young girl of about eight years old she had seen these black patent shoes in a store and fell in love with them. She couldn't afford them and told no one of her desire for them, including her parents. They were not the kind of shoes her parents normally would have bought for her. This didn't stop her, however, from wanting them, thinking about them constantly, and visualizing herself with these shoes. She did this for many weeks. You can imagine her enormous surprise when one day soon thereafter, her mother presented her with a pair of shoes for a gift - and not just any shoes - the very same pair that she had been longing for and visualizing!
It's the kind of story that gives you chills. It seems incredible. Too good to be true, yet the reality is that focusing on a specific thing is in fact giving energy to the specific thing, and the object begins to find its way to you. This idea known as the law of attraction, or perhaps more recently labelled "the secret" was made infamous by Oprah Winfrey. You may have in fact, been practicing it accidentally for years as perhaps was the case with Kathy.
I too stumbled across this law a few years before "the secret" was made famous the world over. I was excited to put it into practice, after all, I felt I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. There was a special method suggested to me by a friend that seemed almost too simple to work. I can't wait to tell you about how using it brought me the two greatest loves of my life.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Seeing life through the eyes of a child
So today I decided to keep my four year old son home from daycare. He only goes 3 days a week and today was one of those days, but the cough and runny nose he's had for the last few days seemed exceptionally loose and runny this rainy morning, so I made the executive decision to keep him home with me. It was next to impossible to get him out of bed, but ironically, as soon a I gave him the news that he'd be staying home with me, he jumped up and down yelling "yay, yay, yay". Not quite the reaction I was expecting from my "sick" son, but the decision had been made, and despite his outbursts, it still felt like it was the right thing to do.
My husband was about to return from a business trip, so I'd planned to spend a good portion of the day doing the cleaning that I had sort of let slip while he was gone. As they say, when the cats away the mice will play, and while he was out of town, I got away from my usual routine and enjoyed myself a little more than usual (i.e. slacked off a tad).
Doing the house cleaning with my son today reminded me to appreciate these usual tiresome chores, and to cherish these moments with him. He helped me to find the joy in what usually would be a tedious and mundane experience. Changing the sheets was an opportunity to make a tent on the floor, followed by some fun moments jumping on the bed. Washing the dishes became laughing and splashing around in the sink. Even washing the floor had some enjoyable moments together. It brought back the memories I had as a child first crying over not being allowed to dry the dishes with my two older brothers, but then having my father find a way to let me participate so I could "have fun" too. I guess sometimes living life through the eyes of a child can make everything fresh, exciting and new again. I need to do it more often!
My husband was about to return from a business trip, so I'd planned to spend a good portion of the day doing the cleaning that I had sort of let slip while he was gone. As they say, when the cats away the mice will play, and while he was out of town, I got away from my usual routine and enjoyed myself a little more than usual (i.e. slacked off a tad).
Doing the house cleaning with my son today reminded me to appreciate these usual tiresome chores, and to cherish these moments with him. He helped me to find the joy in what usually would be a tedious and mundane experience. Changing the sheets was an opportunity to make a tent on the floor, followed by some fun moments jumping on the bed. Washing the dishes became laughing and splashing around in the sink. Even washing the floor had some enjoyable moments together. It brought back the memories I had as a child first crying over not being allowed to dry the dishes with my two older brothers, but then having my father find a way to let me participate so I could "have fun" too. I guess sometimes living life through the eyes of a child can make everything fresh, exciting and new again. I need to do it more often!
Being grateful will bring you abundance
Hi Susie Q - I'm going back to what I used to do a few years ago and simply allowed life to get in the way of making this the priority it should be. I'm going to share all the things for which I'm grateful today.
I'm grateful for having an amazing husband by whom I'm inspired, I admire, who makes me a better person and brings outs the best in and wants the best for me.
I'm grateful for my daughter Skylar (almost 3 years old) who was our little miracle! I had less than a 5% chance of having a baby and was blessed with a kind, warm, loving, smart, well balanced, adorbale little girl. She is the best thing that happened to us!
I am grateful to have rekindled a relationship with my sister and looking forward to the closeness we both want in our relationship.
I am grateful for my wonderful relationship with my other sister and look forward to being the three muskateers.
I'm grateful for having my father in my life who is always there when I need him.
I'm grateful for my close friends who are caring, loving, inspiring, strong, wonderful women and who also want the best for me.
I'm grateful for my health, the life I'm able to live and be present in the present!
I'm grateful for having an amazing husband by whom I'm inspired, I admire, who makes me a better person and brings outs the best in and wants the best for me.
I'm grateful for my daughter Skylar (almost 3 years old) who was our little miracle! I had less than a 5% chance of having a baby and was blessed with a kind, warm, loving, smart, well balanced, adorbale little girl. She is the best thing that happened to us!
I am grateful to have rekindled a relationship with my sister and looking forward to the closeness we both want in our relationship.
I am grateful for my wonderful relationship with my other sister and look forward to being the three muskateers.
I'm grateful for having my father in my life who is always there when I need him.
I'm grateful for my close friends who are caring, loving, inspiring, strong, wonderful women and who also want the best for me.
I'm grateful for my health, the life I'm able to live and be present in the present!
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Staying centered: First blog ever (Newbie)
Staying centered: First blog ever (Newbie): Hi and welcome to my first blog post ever! By doing this, I feel like I'm slowly catching up with the rest of the world in social media...
Staying centered: Hello out there! I'm Kathy and quite new to the wo...
Staying centered: Hello out there! I'm Kathy and quite new to the wo...: Hello out there! I'm Kathy and quite new to the world of blogging. You may have already read my friend Susan's first b log regardin...
Hello out there! I'm Kathy and quite new to the world of blogging. You may have already read my friend Susan's first blog regarding having gone to the Oprah event, here in Montreal a few days ago. As Susan mentioned, Oprah didn't say anything we hadn't already heard or knew intuitively, but it was a real reminder of staying on your path of truth, remaining connected to your passion or what truly motivates you to be or remain joyful.
Susan and I left that evening, inspired to start a blog together. She and I are such close friends. We speak on the phone, get together for lunch or dinner and spend the entire time chatting, catching up on each other's lives, asking for advice or sometimes just venting. What's great about our friendship is our honesty, non-judgement and truly wanting what's best for the other. She is one example of the people I've chosen by whom to be surrounded in my life. These choices, however came after many hurtful experiences from choosing friends who didn't want the best for me. Although it took me a long while to become aware of this and the reason for which I was making these choices I'm truly grateful for having learned the lessons as they helped me to make better choices. Interestingly, my inner voice, my whisper, my subconcious, my instinct always told me whether the choice was right or wrong but I wasn't yet mature or wise enough to listen or have "blind faith" in those whispers.
Oprah uses an all encompassing question to help her make choices. She asks herself "what do I want?" Having been a "yes" woman for many years in her life, as am I, she learned that it is important to say no when it's something that's not aligned with what you want. It is the question that has resonated within me since hearing it from her and something am I now using. It is helping me to connect my passion with my career.
I chose to do what I do because I was good at it but didn't realize that it's something about which I'm truly not passionate. This is my journey to find my passion, become centered and stay true to who I really am......
Being able to discuss it with Susan on this blog and putting it out there forces me to focus on it which will result in it becoming my reality. Along the way, Susan will venture down her own path journalizing it along with mine. Together we will help each other and begin to discover new parts of ourselves. Here we go :)
Susan and I left that evening, inspired to start a blog together. She and I are such close friends. We speak on the phone, get together for lunch or dinner and spend the entire time chatting, catching up on each other's lives, asking for advice or sometimes just venting. What's great about our friendship is our honesty, non-judgement and truly wanting what's best for the other. She is one example of the people I've chosen by whom to be surrounded in my life. These choices, however came after many hurtful experiences from choosing friends who didn't want the best for me. Although it took me a long while to become aware of this and the reason for which I was making these choices I'm truly grateful for having learned the lessons as they helped me to make better choices. Interestingly, my inner voice, my whisper, my subconcious, my instinct always told me whether the choice was right or wrong but I wasn't yet mature or wise enough to listen or have "blind faith" in those whispers.
Oprah uses an all encompassing question to help her make choices. She asks herself "what do I want?" Having been a "yes" woman for many years in her life, as am I, she learned that it is important to say no when it's something that's not aligned with what you want. It is the question that has resonated within me since hearing it from her and something am I now using. It is helping me to connect my passion with my career.
I chose to do what I do because I was good at it but didn't realize that it's something about which I'm truly not passionate. This is my journey to find my passion, become centered and stay true to who I really am......
Being able to discuss it with Susan on this blog and putting it out there forces me to focus on it which will result in it becoming my reality. Along the way, Susan will venture down her own path journalizing it along with mine. Together we will help each other and begin to discover new parts of ourselves. Here we go :)
Monday, April 15, 2013
First blog ever (Newbie)
Hi and welcome to my first blog post ever! By doing this, I feel like I'm slowly catching up with the rest of the world in social media. I've been on Facebook for a few years now, done a few YouTube videos, and as of today, I opened a Twitter account. It was open for just a few minutes and I already have a half dozen followers!
The other night I went with my great friend Kathy to see Oprah Winfrey who was in my town of Montreal. To be honest, nothing she said was really new to me, but she reminded me why she has been so successful at inspiring people to be the best that they can be. She re-told her own personal and tragic story of sexual abuse and neglect. The difference with her is one of the reasons she continues to fascinate people the world over. Her story has the fairy tale ending. While others may have understandably been stuck, forever fixated on such an incredibly horrible ordeal, not Oprah. She truly turned the lemons life handed her into lemonade, and has never looked back!
She convinced herself, even at a very young age, that she was not going to follow in the footsteps of her parents or grandparents. Oprah as a teenager, inadvertently and fortuitously announced at a beauty pageant she was in that she wanted to be a journalist. It was not even on her radar, but the evening before she had watched Barbra Walters, a hugely popular journalist at that time, and something seemed to click. From that moment on, she was determined to be a journalist and copy Barbra Walters. Oprah managed to find employment in her chosen field, but her career really took off when she decided to no longer emulate Barbra Walters, but to simply be herself. This was her turning point and what made her the great and successful person that she is today.
Since then, her role from the tv show she had for 25 years and subsequently, has been one of inspiring others to find their passion in life, primarily in a way that serves others. When one can do that, there is no limit to the success one can have as demonstrated by Oprah. It's been said before that the ocean of abundance is available to us all. We can go there with a thimble and be content with that, or we can go there with an empty truckload, replenishing it at every opportunity. The choice is ours. Our life is ours to make and success is there for us waiting if we want it to be.
The other night I went with my great friend Kathy to see Oprah Winfrey who was in my town of Montreal. To be honest, nothing she said was really new to me, but she reminded me why she has been so successful at inspiring people to be the best that they can be. She re-told her own personal and tragic story of sexual abuse and neglect. The difference with her is one of the reasons she continues to fascinate people the world over. Her story has the fairy tale ending. While others may have understandably been stuck, forever fixated on such an incredibly horrible ordeal, not Oprah. She truly turned the lemons life handed her into lemonade, and has never looked back!
She convinced herself, even at a very young age, that she was not going to follow in the footsteps of her parents or grandparents. Oprah as a teenager, inadvertently and fortuitously announced at a beauty pageant she was in that she wanted to be a journalist. It was not even on her radar, but the evening before she had watched Barbra Walters, a hugely popular journalist at that time, and something seemed to click. From that moment on, she was determined to be a journalist and copy Barbra Walters. Oprah managed to find employment in her chosen field, but her career really took off when she decided to no longer emulate Barbra Walters, but to simply be herself. This was her turning point and what made her the great and successful person that she is today.
Since then, her role from the tv show she had for 25 years and subsequently, has been one of inspiring others to find their passion in life, primarily in a way that serves others. When one can do that, there is no limit to the success one can have as demonstrated by Oprah. It's been said before that the ocean of abundance is available to us all. We can go there with a thimble and be content with that, or we can go there with an empty truckload, replenishing it at every opportunity. The choice is ours. Our life is ours to make and success is there for us waiting if we want it to be.
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